After a few months being together, I found out that my boyfriend had had a problem with pornography. I thought it was a past issue and never really worried. I tried to make things less awkward or hard for him like not walking through the intimates section while going through a store or something.
Later on in the relationship, he confessed his ongoing struggle. I told him I already knew he had had problems and that we would try and beat this together. He was so grateful that I wasn't hurt by the fact of what he was into so deeply.
Months later, he told me in much more detail and openness about his struggles he had gone through over the course of things. He had never told anyone so much about it. He was in tears and anguish over what he had done. He had never meant to get into it. He had be an adolescent when it started. He struggled for years and years. He overcame it about 2+ years ago and has been clean since, though some days are harder than others.
Though I trust him and know he doesn't want to return to that awful place, he says it helps that I periodically check in on it.
Another experience I've had with pornography is that it tore my family apart. My biological father looked at it much through out his life and as a result it greatly affected his mind. Over the years growing up, it has become more and more apparent. He stayed up late, was grouchy, defensive, and his personality and attitude will never be the same. I've seen some of the names of the sites and its horrible.
Plus, he never even told my mom. She found out through a counselor they saw. And in the last few years, the way he acts towards my younger sister has been getting somewhat disturbing. It really is a poison that needs to be flushed out of the world. It tears up families, lives, souls, hearts; if we let it, it will tear the world.
Labels: addiction, boyfriends, distrust, emotional pain, family, fathers, pornography
My husband is a porn addict. (casual porn addict, as he does not fully believe he's addicted since he doesn't look at it at every chance, ever day). I sure wish he would come to me crying sometimes, or at least sad, being honest with me telling me things...but usually we start with a fight where I tell him I am feeling so sick cuz I know he is holding things back...and after him saying many times that nothing is wrong and he gets angry I keep pushing, he eventually gives in every couple months and tells me what I pry for.
I can relate, my dad was a sex addict all his life, which involves porn, and all aspects, he'd basically have sex with anyone, and could never be faithful in his 4 different marriages. He is now in prison for accused "rape" I don't really picture him forcing sex on someone, but I don't feel bad even if it is a false accusation because he lived his life in a way that put him in a bad position, so now he's in prison. I really thought I married a deep, religious man who saw porn and similar things as unappealing filth. Instead he looks at it, then doesn't take his problem seriously, and he never seems like he feels very sorry for it. I am happy to know that your man overcame his problem. I hope my husband will soon, or at least be honest, or we'll be looking at divorce soon.
